pour me another drink, barkeep

I am really just a lost soul carrying a Jack & Coke around waiting to become something worth keeping. I have never really played the good guy, but i'm impartial to the bad guy as well. I more or less am just some twenty-something, walking around like a chicken with his head cut off wondering when this ride is going to end. Life is like being stuck on public transit, bumping into the worlds strangest people in the most god-awful scenarios.

Heroin addicts shooting up in gas station bathrooms. Random people walking into your house trying to sell you steak. Sleeping alone every night, wondering how the hell did I end up like this?

Change is inevitable, I know this, and I do embrace this, however, it chooses the damnedest times to show it's face.

Here is to drunken nights with friends, playing music on a corner making 13 bucks outside of some Redneck family reunion, skating until your legs feel like they are going to break in half, sitting on a roof smoking cigarettes and playing guitar til the sun comes up, blaring "London Calling" and still knowing every single word.

Here is to basement shows and playing your heart out to all of your friends and strangers that just happened to show up; to watching cartoons because they remind you of when you were a kid; to still collecting comicbooks even though it is looked at as nerdy.

Here is to always embracing your youth, no matter what your age. Working a steady job you don't like because it pays the bills but staying child enough to play cops and robbers in the middle of the night.

Here is to being yourself at any cost, to watching the sun rise and fall like a pendulum because we all now in our hearts that life is not permanent, it does end and you should always embrace the things you love, even if it doesn't quite work out how you would like it to right away.

I am 25 years old, and I will always love getting my hands a little messy and enjoying life to the fullest, no matter who comes and goes. I hope more of you stick around, because it's not over yet.

this is change

on a corner
hands in pockets
screaming for attention
you say you want to change the world
well I know that it's a waste of time
we were born into this
we were born into all of this
this empty void between here and there
so i stand, complacent
and i wonder
how's it going to end?

cancerous light

you are a beam of light coming down from the heavens
shining downward upon my face
burning like a galaxy
leaving me unarmed

every man wishes to become legend
every time given it's chances
but here, under this light, i am helpless.

LOVE

Love is a burning airplane
waiting to become wreckage

smoking cigarettes makes me feel like Frank Sinatra

here we sing the praises of an early death
gone but not forgotten, forgotten but not gone
we climb to new highs, to reach the inevitable low
and at that low is where we test our strength.

here we sing the praises of rotting meat
dead and rotten, rotten and dead
we reach for the sky
but to no avail

i watched the sun rise and fall
i watched the building burn
i watched as you reached for help
and i laughed

burn or drown

cut me like paper and tear me from the page.

until the ink bleeds through

i used to be a page in your book

but now i'm the ash in your ashtray

you smoked me like a cigarette

until i burned out

and become mere trash on the roadside

one year and several months

burned away

i was that picture on your wall

now i'm just a broken frame

you picked me off like a scab

and the blood just keeps coming

and became memory

this is my last wish

to be destroyed in a fit

of self destruction

burning like gasoline on water

it's either burn or drown

wasteofmyfuckingtime

i keep spinning on a pedestal
waiting for the world to collapse
crushing me under it's enormous weight
because nothing matters anyway
nothing true ever lasts.

entirelyfuckinggone

i want to sink.
into the bottom of a river.
completely wasted.
as you stand on the edge.
laughing.
crying.
not entirely caring.
i want to sink into a river
drown my sorrows
drown my ambitions
drown everything

Sylvia, honey, you sure had one thing right.